Hot Mess 
Express

Sponsored by Chevron

Hot Mess Express

Sponsored by Chevron

TLDR;

You’re Not Alone – Climate anxiety is real, but collective action, innovation, and a bunch of loud Climate Karens can turn this around.

 

It’s Big Oil’s Fault – Fossil fuel from human activity release greenhouse gases, driving global warming and extreme weather, sea level rise, and biodiversity loss.

 

Not Just Straws – We need to slash emissions through clean energy and policy, like yesterday. We also need to scale up Carbon Dioxide Removal (CDR) to pull legacy CO₂ from the atmosphere.

TLDR;

You’re Not Alone – Climate anxiety is real, but collective action, innovation, and a bunch of loud Climate Karens can turn this around.

 

It’s Big Oil’s Fault – Fossil fuel from human activity release greenhouse gases, driving global warming and extreme weather, sea level rise, and biodiversity loss.

 

Not Just Straws – We need to slash emissions through clean energy and policy, like yesterday. We also need to scale up Carbon Dioxide Removal (CDR) to pull legacy CO₂ from the atmosphere.

Everyone's Freaking Out (It's Not Just You)

Climate anxiety is the emotional elephant in the room that we're finally talking about.

Global Youth Panic: 59% of young people (16-25) across 10 countries are "very or extremely worried" about climate change, with 45% saying it affects their daily life [Source: National Institutes of Health]

 

Strength in Numbers: Over 7.6 million people joined the 2019 Global Climate Strikes, proving anxiety works better as a team sport [Source: 350.org]

 

Worldwide Worry Club: Studies confirm the majority of people in every country are concerned about climate change and support action to address it [Source: Our World in Data]

Everyone's Freaking Out (It's Not Just You)

Climate anxiety is the emotional elephant in the room that we're finally talking about.

Global Youth Panic: 59% of young people (16-25) across 10 countries are "very or extremely worried" about climate change, with 45% saying it affects their daily life [Source: National Institutes of Health]

 

Strength in Numbers: Over 7.6 million people joined the 2019 Global Climate Strikes, proving anxiety works better as a team sport [Source: 350.org]

 

Worldwide Worry Club: Studies confirm the majority of people in every country are concerned about climate change and support action to address it [Source: Our World in Data]

Your Metal Straw Won't Save Us (Sorry!)

Individual actions are cute, but climate change demands a system-wide makeover.

Deadline Drama: Scientists say emissions must peak by 2025 and drop 43% by 2030 to limit warming to 1.5°C [Source: Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change]

 

The Big Three Solutions: 1) Rapid transition to renewable energy, 2) Protecting and restoring natural carbon sinks, and 3) Carbon dioxide removal technologies [Source: IPCC]

 

Carbon Budget Crunch: At current emission rates, we could exhaust our remaining 1.5°C carbon budget in roughly a decade [Source: ClimateWorks]

Your Metal Straw Won't Save Us (Sorry!)

Individual actions are cute, but climate change demands a system-wide makeover.

Deadline Drama: Scientists say emissions must peak by 2025 and drop 43% by 2030 to limit warming to 1.5°C [Source: Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change]

 

The Big Three Solutions: 1) Rapid transition to renewable energy, 2) Protecting and restoring natural carbon sinks, and 3) Carbon dioxide removal technologies [Source: IPCC]

 

Carbon Budget Crunch: At current emission rates, we could exhaust our remaining 1.5°C carbon budget in roughly a decade [Source: ClimateWorks]

Success Stories 
(Yes, They Exist)

Climate action is working, even if your news feed suggests otherwise.

Clean Tech Revolution: Since 2010, solar and wind energy costs have plummeted by up to 85%, making renewables cheaper than fossil fuels in many markets [Source: IPCC]

 

Economic Plot Twist: 21 countries have successfully reduced greenhouse gas emissions while growing their GDP, debunking the economy-versus-environment myth [Source: World Resources Institute]

 

People Power Victory: Dutch citizens sued their government for climate inaction and won, forcing a 25% emissions cut below 1990 levels by 2020 and inspiring similar lawsuits globally [Source: CLX Toolkit]

Carbon Dioxide Removal 
(Earth's Awkward Apology Tour)

We need to suck back what we've spewed out, and future-you is counting on present-you to invest now.

Not Your Climate Savior: Carbon Dioxide Removal (CDR) cannot replace cutting emissions—it's like hiring a cleaner while still actively trashing your apartment [Source: ClimateWorks]

 

Clean-up Crew Required: The IPCC confirms we need carbon removal to counteract stubborn emissions and reach global net-zero goals [Source: Carbon Brief]

 

From Trees to Machines: Solutions range from nature's own carbon vacuums (forests) to literal sky-vacuums (direct air capture), and both need funding yesterday [Source: IPCC]

 

Carbon Dioxide Removal 
(Earth's Awkward Apology Tour)

We need to suck back what we've spewed out, and future-you is counting on present-you to invest now.

Not Your Climate Savior: Carbon Dioxide Removal (CDR) cannot replace cutting emissions—it's like hiring a cleaner while still actively trashing your apartment [Source: ClimateWorks]

 

Clean-up Crew Required: The IPCC confirms we need carbon removal to counteract stubborn emissions and reach global net-zero goals [Source: Carbon Brief]

 

From Trees to Machines: Solutions range from nature's own carbon vacuums (forests) to literal sky-vacuums (direct air capture), and both need funding yesterday [Source: IPCC]

 

It's Time We Exposed Ourselves

With Transparency (Thanks, Legal)

How We Use YOUR Dollar

80¢ Removes CO2

Buys permanent CO2 credits. 100% verifiable.

20¢ Makes a Scene

Helps us yell at bad companies and dumb people.

It's Time We Exposed Ourselves

With Transparency (Thanks, Legal)

How We Use YOUR Dollar

80¢ Removes CO2

Buys permanent CO2 credits. 100% verifiable.

20¢ Makes a Scene

Helps us yell at bad companies and dumb people.

Ready To Do Something?
Dollar Karen Club
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Only $1 /month

500+ Five Star Reviews!

ONE DOLLAR removes 5 pounds of CO2 Monthly!

  • Scales CO2 Removal Technology
  • Removes 5 pounds of CO₂ Monthly
  • Helps Us Yell at Bad Companies & Dumb People
Quantity

Membership Details

Ready To Saddle Up?
Dollar Karen Club
Dollar Karen Club
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Remove 5 Pounds of CO2 Every Month

Scale CO2 Removal Technology

Help Us Yell at Bad Companies

Only $1/month
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FAQs

Where does my money go?

We take your hard earned money and use it to buy permanent carbon removal credits from trusted climate-tech companies.

These durable (like, really friggin' good) carbon removal credits can cost $500-1,000 per ton... or, as it's known in the biz, a shit-ton.

 

We buy a mix of these to create a portfolio of DAC, biochar, ocean-bound, and ERW removed carbon. We then take this big pie of removed carbon and create little slices for you buy monthly.

 

We add a small (20%) fee to the cost of the carbon removal credit. This goes to helps us amplify your impact and grow this movement.

Can I cancel my subscription?

Do bears shit in the woods? Just login to your account and make the cancel. Or, email us at info@climatekaren.com and we'll take care of it.

What's with the Karen?

We'll answer your question with another question. What if we all got a little unreasonable when it came to climate change and demanded to speak with the manager about this CO₂?

 

We are climate-optimists who believe being a little pushy might just save the planet. And maybe you feel the same.

Who removes the carbon dioxide?

At Climate Karen, we partner with the best in the business to ensure CO2 is removed permanently and responsibly. Here's a breakdown of our collaborators:

 

Octavia Carbon (Direct Air Capture):
Octavia uses cutting-edge technology to literally suck CO2 out of the air. Their direct air capture machines filter out CO2, which is then stored safely underground, locking it away for thousands of years.

 

Charm Industrial (Turning agricultural waste into bio-oil)
Charm converts plant waste into a bio-oil that is injected deep underground. This process not only removes CO2 but also helps restore carbon balance to the planet by keeping it out of the atmosphere.

 

Silicate (Enhanced Rock Weathering):
Silicate spreads crushed rock on fields, where it reacts naturally with rainwater and CO2 in the atmosphere. This reaction captures and stores carbon while improving soil health.

 

These solutions are at the forefront of carbon removal technology, and your support helps scale them to make a real, permanent impact.
 

More info on Carbon Removal Partners

Why does CO2 removal cost money?

Getting that CO₂ up in the atmosphere was fun (remember that one summer when you fast-tracked a coal-fired power plant through congress? Oh wait. that wasn't you?)

 

Anywho, it was easy to get up there and now it's hard to get back out. That requires some pretty impressive technology to get it out of the atmosphere, all of which is expensive.

That's what your money is doing, removing carbon, and importantly, catalyzing an industry to make the planet less hot.
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