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Remember Michael Scott grilling his foot on a George Foreman grill and declaring a "serious disability"? That's us in 2025—masters of the overblown personal crisis while scrolling past climate headlines to look for a heartwarming story about a 7-year old who turns leftover peanut butter jars into homeless shelters for gay mockingbirds.
We've become experts at compartmentalizing catastrophes. A shrug, a quick eye roll to the camera as another temperature record breaks. The notification disappears; our attention shifts.
But what if we could apply some behavioral economics to this problem and start with something deceptively simple?
One. Single. Dollar.
REVEALED: The Lumon-level deception happening in your checking account
Your bank account is living a perfectly severed life. In your outie world, you're dutifully sorting recycling and driving your hybrid, while your innie dollars are trapped in a financial Lumon basement, forced to refine numbers for oil pipelines without any memory of your environmental values. This isn't corporate fiction—it's banking reality.
Vault that carbon, California. Vault it good.
The Ocean Wants to Help Save the Planet—But Should We Let It?
Who knew you could catalyze a climate saving banger from your shitty apartment?
Carbon “Offsets” are Bullshit… but here’s what is real
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Correction, this is the last sentence, and to be honest, we probably should have been a little better on how we used this space.